In everyone of us, there would really come a time when we would run out of juice. In simpler terms—money can easily be gotten and easily be gone—as per some people. Family members and some friends can have the confidence to ask this every single time they need it. However, some people can’t swallow and bear the fact that that’s how life is.
Are you tired of just allowing other people to borrow money from you? Are you part of the demographic who just can’t say no to people borrowing money? Well, you’re not alone! As a matter of fact, thousands, if not millions, of people hear this every single day. Whether it’d be in the work place, the household, or your friends, it’s something that’s inevitable.
Borrowing money in the Filipino culture
Utang or the act of borrowing money, has been a part of the culture. As per the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas financial inclusion, around 22 percent of Filipino adults borrow money from relatives, friends, and family members. This is why a lot of Filipino adults are confident that no troubles will come forth if things get unsettled.
Believe it or not, other countries like in the United States and Australia, disputes in unpaid debts and loans reach the Federal Court. This specific issue is sort of rare to happen in the Philippines because people have grown accustomed to the fact that borrowing money from relatives, family members, and close friends is just fine.
This is why hundreds of money lending businesses sprout in our country. There are even online applications which will lend you money without having physical interaction with the people or institution who would be lending you.
But how can you say no amidst different circumstances? Are there ways or strategies on how you can turn down your friend or family member’s call for help?
Allow time to come up with a suitable answer
Saying no is fine. It’s just that, you might find it difficult because your friend or family member is dear to you that you haven’t said no to them in a while. Saying no to someone, depending on the relationship you have with that person, could cause and could stem tension between you and the other party.
One thing you can do is to tell the person asking for help that you will check your budget and finances before you can say yes or no to them. Give around a day or two before you respond so they know you really thought about it.
Saying no is and was never a bad thing
One reason why Filipinos find it hard to say no especially to people dear to them is that they’ve seldom tried to say no to them. Taking it from a psychological point of view, you can actually practice your mind to say no as a habit.
This is substantially effective if you’ve been a person who always say yes to people around you. More so, based on research, researching and planning responses before you receive or hear a request is good and can train you to say no regularly—especially if the topic is borrowing money.
Never be pressured to say yes
Especially if the people asking you is dear to you, just be natural and don’t say no because you feel so. Although it’s considered a little harsh and selfish to turn down your opportunity to help, always remember that you are never obliged to give in to any type of request that is not really your will.
Most usually, this pressure stems out from the feeling of being indebted with gratitude or gratefulness. In addition to that, Filipinos also have the fear that they can be rumored, badmouthed, or to not be in good terms with that person.
Have the mindset that money that is borrowed by friends and family members are more likely to be never paid back—even if they keep on assuring you that they will in the soonest time possible—in most cases.
Be calm and honest in explaining your situation financially
It’s never wrong to be honest. In fact, most people will appreciate your honesty if you’ll tell them what the real situation is. It’s important to properly explain your decision and to be confident in telling the other party what your situation is financially.
More so, don’t speak with an angry tone because the other party might have the misconception that you’re agitated—they’re just asking. Even if you’re annoyed, try to tell the other person your financial status and they’ll understand because it’s just them asking fora favor.
Be concise and direct in explaining yourself because this way, you can avoid hurting another person’s feelings. If the person is close to you, that person will rightfully understand the situation and will accept whatever you tell them.
Learn to insist and to carry on what you explained
There will be times when you will be persuaded by the words and the assurance your friend or family member is giving you. This can be guilt trip; but don’t let that get in the way.
Be firm with what your decision is. If you must, emphasize on what you told them and avoid straying far from what you’ve already told them. Having too many different stories might make the other party think that you’re just lying or making excuses on how you can avoid lending them money.
Even if what they do next can make you uncomfortable, unhappy, stressed, or annoyed, reiterate that you can’t lend them because you need it for your own personal goals.
Try to offer help in a different but effective way
Lending them money might not be what they need—you can try offering them other things. If you can’t afford to lend someone money, you can tell them that you can help them obtain money or you can help them find a way—you just can’t be the one to lend them.
A few ways on how you can offer help to them are:
- Accompany the other person to find other sources of income like sidelines, jobs, small businesses, etc.
- You can help them find a legal and legitimate lending or micro finance businesses.
- If you notice that that person always falls short on budget, you can try to offer to study their budget and to help them manage their income-expense-deficit.
So, are you still afraid to turn down people, even close to you, financially? Are you one of the people who can’t say no to people borrowing money or any sort of financial aid? Always put to mind that you are never obligated to lend money even if that person has done something good to you in the past.
Learn to say no appropriately and properly to avoid making other people feel bad about you turning them down.